I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize