Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
