Kareoke will never be a sober sport
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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