Cold hands, warm shart.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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