On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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