I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
