like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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