Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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