I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
