If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
