Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
