quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
