butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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