I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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