I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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