my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
