So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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