We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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