Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
