You're my little dorito
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
