I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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