Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
