I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Please don't give away my fajitas
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