i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
