Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
