super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
