my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
