From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
