You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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