If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
