dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
They left me at home... I'm a liability
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
