my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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