Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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