Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
