So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
