so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize