Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
