oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i black out too much to be "responsible"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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