I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
