It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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