It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize