I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
