I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
