Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Mom said you looked used
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
