i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I look better un-naked...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
