Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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