So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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