I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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