he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Can you bring me the toilet please
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize