I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
