Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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