No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
