I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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