I wish life had little blips of pornography
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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