Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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