I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
