I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
