Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
