Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
