belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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