I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
