barbara walters just said penis...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
