Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
