I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
