I wannas sexs uuuuu
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
