Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
