what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
