"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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