They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
