ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
