Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
