they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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