need another drink. this is the easiest way
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
