so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
