somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
