how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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