Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
