Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
