I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
