1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
