I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
