There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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