i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
