I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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