My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
